Simply put, I don't love you
by pline
Summary: 14 years after Sacred Stone War. It seems not all fairy tales have an happy ending. Two lovers, torn by manipulation and lies. Until one coincidental event, they are bound together again to entangle the web of lies that had caused them grief and despair.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely close to Fire Emblem. Someday I will though... Someday.**

* * *

_Hope. A belief that positive outcomes will occur in one's life. _

_Belief. A proposition that one holds to be true. _

_Hope is nothing but a false statement originated from foolish and irrational thinking. _

_Put in context with love, and what do you get?_

_Nothing but a silly fantasy._

* * *

A hefty sigh escaped from the old Jehannian King's lips. He leaned back in the leather chair with his arms crossed.

_Paper work and more paper work. _He thought to himself. _It's never-ending. _

Just when he thought he was finished with signing documents, land treaties and reparations, more is placed on the corner of his desk. He swore the stack only stood an inch, as the hours passed it had managed to reach a staggering height of a foot!

_Now how did that happen?_

The hand he had one used to wield the legendary Audhulma, was now being used to delicately hold a quail. He dipped the quail into the bottle of ink and slowly traced his excuse of a signature on the paper.

One slow fluid motion, he spelled out his name.

Joshua.

The very hand he had used in the past to strike down foes and enemies was now being used to splotch floppy signatures on paperwork he did not care to read over for.

It wasn't quite the same. His hand could only flow over the paper in such a restricted space. With his sword, he could swing in circles and lines however and wherever he liked. With the quail, he had to be careful not to hold it in one place too long otherwise it leave a huge ink blot. With the sword, holding it at the enemy's vital points of the body was essential if you wanted them killed fast and easy.

Of course, that was such a long time ago. A more youthful time where he could move freely without straining his bones and muscles. A time where he moved as fast as most of his opponents.

Since he had reclaimed his position as Jehanna King years ago, he was left with little to no time to swing and train with his sword. Slowly and surely, his body had become fragile, with pain and soreness shooting up in places he had never thought would be possible. His body was aging, restricting him from moving so freely and gracefully he once did. How could it be so? He was barely 40, though, almost. Caryle, the very man who trained him to use the sword was a little over the age of 40 when he faced him in the Sacred Stones war and he was in top notch shape. He knew of several men and women who above the age of 40 who would easily swing a weapon. Perhaps it was the absence of training daily that made his body so. How he longed to wield his sword once again, but what use would it be to do so without spraining his body to exhaustion? Too late now.

Such a life it had become.

_Growing up sucks. _He thought bitterly.

He wondered if the aging process was easier for his friends than it was for him. Were some of the nobles like Ephraim and Innes the same as him? Both being Kings, they surely have no time for sparring.

Or had they somehow manage to squeeze time to hone their skills? Possibly. The two were far better kings than he was, the most likely know to structure their schedule.

What about Gerik? He hadn't spoken to him in years. Is he still a mercenary leader? Joshua would only think he would still be thrashing his sword around like the ferocious beast he was in the Sacred Stones war.

How envious Joshua became of his friend's lifestyle.

And what about... Marisa? If she had stayed, she would be swinging her sword in the courtyard, challenging the royal guards to duel her. Knowing her, she would do just that. If she had stayed, at least he would have something to entertain him above all this office work. He would have sparred daily with her, and maintain his youthful form.

If she had stayed, they would have been wedded and raised their daughter up together.

If she had stayed, she wouldn't have died.

"Your majesty."

Joshua shifted his eyes upwards to the door.

"We found Princess Samara wandering around in the capital town, Ora." One of his royal knights announced. Beside him, stood his daughter, her head hung low in a guilty manner and her hands held together in front of her.

Joshua blinked once. "I was not aware she had left the castle." He said rather questionably.

"Ah…" The guard took an arm up to nervously scratch his head. "Neither did us until one of the servants brought her meal to her room and found her absent."

His daughter. She was the only one who connected him remotely close to youth. She had inherited a majority of his traits; his crimson red hair, his beady shifty eyes, and his mischievous and playful behavior.

As a toddler, he would tell his daughter bedtime stories of Jehanna's finest sword fighters, some tales included himself when he was a traveling mercenary and when he fought in the Sacred Stones War. As well as tales of her mother, the famous sword master they called the Crimson Flash.

_"Cool! So you and mother were both sword fighters? That means… I'll become twice as strong and fast as you guys when I grow up!"_

Her fascination had flourished into an obsession when he took her to a play about the journey of a swordsman. The play foretold the lavishing life of a lone traveling sword fighter and his epic fighting and sparring skills.

_"I'm going to be the best sword woman in Jehanna! No, all of Magvel!"_

Most girls' dream of finding prince charming, falling in love and living happily ever after, but no, his daughter's dream was to live the rogue life of a sword fighter.

Although, she was raised in an environment filled with men; him, the royal guards, her tutors… Would it have been any different if her mother was still here?

No. Samara was just like Marisa. They lived, eat, and slept for the mastery of swords.

Joshua stared at two for a few seconds. "Very well. Leave her here."

"Yes, your majesty." The guard softly pushed Samara into the room then close the door behind him.

Joshua hung his head low as he rubbed his forehead. "This is the third time you've snuck out of the castle this week. Why? And don't use the same excuse, you were just bored. I already hired a jester just like you requsted."

As much as he loved her, he always believed she was the cause of his headaches, his stress, his grey strands of hair, his quickened aged body!

He never expected raising one child would be so… difficult and worrisome.

Joshua looked up, expecting to see Samara's puppy look sprawled on her face, begging for forgiveness, but instead she was smiling at him, bearing her teeth.

"Father!" She exclaimed as she ran up to his desk.

"…Yes?" He asked slowly, confused at her sudden expression.

She continued to smile at him.

He arched an eyebrow up. "If you're trying a new approach to be forgiven, it's not working. Besides, your puppy eyed look is much cuter than this… creepy smiling one."

"No, no, no, that's not it." She quickly dismissed.

She placed her hands behind her back and looked bashfully at the ground. "You know my 12th birthday is coming up, right?"

"Of course I know that. I am in the midst of planning the party."

"Well, you know how you told me years ago that I couldn't hold a sword until I was at least 12 years of age?" She asked quietly as she twiddled with her fingers.

Joshua nodded his head slowly. Did he say just that? He couldn't remember. Oh no, not only is his body is diminishing, but his mind as well!

"Well, I've been out looking for a suitable sword-fighter to train the guards. You said you were in need of one. And to... as well, train… myself?"

"Ah." Joshua saw exactly where this was going. "If you wanted a fencing trainer, you could have just asked me!"

"I didn't want to trouble you, seeing as you're so busy…" She said quietly, "but!" She suddenly chirped out, "I found just the person!"

"Really, now? Who is this person? Is he here?"

"Uh, actually…" Samara looked back down at the ground, her face flushed slightly pink. "It's a she. I found her in town. But… I didn't quite catch her name."

Joshua frowned. "How disappointing; I don't see too many woman sword-fighters nowadays. Well, there are other sword-fighters out there."

"No! I want her!" Samara blurted out.

He stared in bewilderment at her. "Why just her? There are possibly better fighters out there."

"There isn't. She's… truly amazing, father. I watched her single-handedly fend off a group of bandits in town. There were 6 of them, and just her. They all attacked her at once but she was quick to dodge and block them all." She looked up at the ceiling with an admiration look. "The way she moved was like a dance, that brown cape of hers trailing behind her like the Pegasus' feathers to its rider. She was elegant, poised, and beautiful." She said airily.

Joshua chuckled at his daughter's fascination. "Sounds to me you have a crush."

Father!" Samara's puffed her flushed cheeks out as she pouted.

"Haha! I'm just pulling your leg. Well, did you at least speak to her?"

Samara shook her head solemnly. "Before I could even step towards her, she was gone in a flash."

"She could a travelling mercenary. She's probably long gone by now."

"But… The nearest town from Ora isn't for days away! I'm sure she's still around here."

The room fell silent as Joshua stared at Samara.

Her lips were pouted in a frown, her eyelids hung heavily over her crimson red eyes as she stared at the ground.

Suddenly, a smile formed on her face and she climbed onto Joshua's desk and knelt before him. Some of his neatly piled of paperwork he had so hard organized flew off the desk or was crumpled underneath Samara's body.

"Please Father! Let me go find her! I'll have General Garth and 5 other men accompany me! Please! Please! Please!" She pleaded with her hands folded to her face.

"Eh?" Was all Joshua could say as he leant back in his chair in surprise.

"Please! Please! Please! I won't trouble you with looking for her, instead I will!" She pleaded again as she knelt towards her father.

"If you really want her that badly…"

"I do! I absolutely do! Oh, thank you father!" Samara exclaimed as she sprung herself onto Joshua and gave him a hug.

"Oof…" His daughter wasn't a child anymore, she was getting bigger. And heavier.

"I'll bring her here, I promise you that!" She said as she released Joshua and ran out the door.

Joshua rubbed his chest where Samara landed on to him.

_At least I won't have to worry about finding a fencing trainer. _He thought joyfully to himself.

He looked down at the mess on his desk. Papers sprawled everywhere; crumpled, folded, and spilled with ink.

_That daughter of mine…_

He let out another hefty sigh.

* * *

Joshua stretched his arm upwards as he let out a yawn.

_That should be enough for today. _He thought as he got up and headed towards the door.

It had been three days since Samara had embarked on the journey to search for her potential fencing trainer.

He wondered how she had progressed.

He opened the door, excepting to step out into the empty hallway, instead several of his guard men brushed by him. They seemed to be in rush since they didn't notice their King standing before them.

"What's the rush, guys?" Joshua asked.

"Oh!" They exclaimed as they turned around and saluted him. "King Joshua, Princess Samara managed to find that woman sword fighter."

"Oh, that's excellent."

"Unfortunately, she was injured, and Princess Samara ordered her back to the castle's infirmary. Your highness… One thing though…"

"Yes?"

The guards looked at each other before they told their King the news.

"The woman… They say it's General Marisa."

He thought he would topple over had his hands were not still firmly placed on doorknob. "W… What?" Joshua hung his mouth open as he stared gapingly at the guards.

Did he hear correctly or was his hearing giving way as well?

It couldn't be her. She left. And she died. She's gone.

Forever.

The memory of the day she left began to flood his mind.

_"King Joshua…" Sir Leduk, his advisor, greeted him. _

_"Hm? Yes?" Joshua sprung around to face older blonde man. _

_"I have… Urgent news pertaining the troop that headed out to eliminate the Cyclops west of the desert."_

_Joshua froze. "They're alright, I hope?" He knew Marisa was leading the group, if anything had happened to her… He wouldn't know what to do._

_"No, they're unharmed. They managed to get rid of those Cyclops with no problem. _

_Joshua could feel his heart beat its normal pace. "Then what's the problem?"_

_General Garth stood at the open doorway. "Permission to enter, sire?" He asked. _

_"Do come in." Joshua ushered. _

_The big, well-build man stepped in, a solemn look on his scarred face. _

_He held out his hand. "This." He simply said._

_Joshua held his hand out underneath Garth's._

_A ring fell into his hand. _

_"What's… this?" He held up the engagement ring up to his eyes. His eyes reflected in its gold frame._

_"After the battle, General Marisa handed me the ring and left." Garth said. _

_"...She just left? But… what? Why?" He could feel the heat of anger rising inside him, the swindle of confusion filling his head and depth of despair deepening his chest… _

_"This is all so sudden. I'm… actually finding this hard to believe," Joshua said, almost chuckling to himself. If this was a joke Marisa and Garth was pulling, it was rather cruel._

_The solemn look on Garth's face said otherwise._

"_Well, why did she leave?" Joshua asked slowly._

_Garth, unaffected by Joshua's frustration, merely shook his head. "She said she doesn't love you," he calmly replied._

_It took a while for him to process what he had just heard. "She doesn't… but we have a child together! How can she just say that and leave? Did you try to stop her?"_

_Garth shook his head slowly. "She threatened to kill any of us who tried to follow her. She wishes you not to look for her. And that was all she said."_

_"You…" Joshua took Garth up by his shirt. "You didn't even try to stop her? She's not the type to just leave unannounced! You're lying!" He spat out as he unhanded Garth. He headed out the door. _

_"Your majesty, where are you heading to?" Sir Leduk asked. _

_"I'm going to look for her. Don't stop me." Joshua snarled. _

For days and nights, he had spent his time scouring the desert, the ring clutched in his hand. He had lost track of how many days he was out there, then one day he collapsed, having to wake up in his own castle.

He was aware it was selfish of him to send a majority of his royal knights and guards into the blazing desert to look for one person.

But that one person was Marisa, the woman he shared many wonderful memories with. The woman who he looked forward to seeing at the end his long dulling days. The woman he was proud to call his wife and lifelong partner.

The mother of his child.

"Don't come back until you've found her." He ordered.

Weeks, months passed by and there was no word of her.

Then a year later, a group found her mangled body on the border of Jehanna and Grado. They claimed it was too decay to be brought back to the castle.

_"Bring me to her then."_

_"What? Your Majesty... that's a little irrational. I don't think you would like see her... in that state." Garth said. _

_"I said," Joshua took a couple of steps up to him, his face inches away from the man, "bring me to her." He slowly enunciated. _

_He would have to see her body to believe she was truly gone. _

_It took several men to hold him down and tranquilize him. _

_He laid in his bed for days, not wanting to get out. Days turned into weeks as he was left with his saddened thoughts. _

"_If she's truly gone then... what am I still doing here?"_

_If it weren't for the cries from Samara heard from the room over, he most likely would have ended his life. _

_He picked her up in his arms and she stopped crying. She stared up at him with those big round eyes. _

_"Mama?" She said. _

_He held her close as he stroke her head. _

_For Marisa's sake, he'll stay to raise their child. For Samara's sake, he'll be her father. _

_He believed somewhere up in the heavens, Marisa was watching over them, protecting Samara, if not him._

It was hard to accept the truth. It was hard knowing the woman he loved was dead. It was just as hard to find out she didn't love him.

What did their time spent together meant then?

Sparring with each other in the courtyard, stargazing from the castle roof, making childish bets, sharing their dreams and ambitions, embracing each other…

If that wasn't love, he didn't know what was.

The result of their passionate affection resulted to a child, a daughter. _Their _daughter.

_"Marisa… Your arms are so stiff. Why are you holding her like that?" Joshua asked as he sat beside her on the bed. _

_"The nurse told me to hold her like this. I'm scared I might drop her if I move." Marisa replied as she looked down at the small pink infant._

_"Then can I hold her?" _

_"No. I have to learn." Marisa shifted her arms slightly, causing the newborn to open her eyes and start crying. _

_"Oh, don't cry… Hush now…" Marisa said softly as she gently rocked the baby in her arms._

_In a few seconds, the baby quieted down and resumed sleeping. _

_"Wow, she stopped crying." Joshua said with astonishment. _

_"It's weird… having a child."_

_"Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd never thought I'd be a father. I'm terrible with children." Joshua admitted. _

_"Me too."_

_The two sat in silent as they stared at the sleeping baby. Occasionally, the child would make cooing and fussing sounds that brought a smile to their faces._

_Joshua rested his head on Marisa shoulder as she wrapped his arms around her._

_"But you know what? I think we're going to make great parents." He whispered into her ear before gently placing his lips on her cheek._

As if his feet had a mind of its own, he started walking down the infirmary. His strides became a fast paced walk, and then a jog.

_He had to admit, his relationship with Marisa wasn't always at its best._

_Some days, even weeks, he would go on without seeing her because of his busy schedule and often, his strict advisories. After he was finished and allowed out, he would go straight to see her. _

_He would ask if she was well and she would always respond she was fine, but her subtle frown and dull eyes said otherwise to him. _

Joshua rounded the corner at the end of the hall, his hands supporting him as if they were a guide to the infirmary.

_There were moments he regretted when his jokes and bets went a bit too far to Marisa's liking and often times where he became frustrated at her social inadaptability. _

His breathing became heavier every time he took a step. This was probably the most he had work-out in a long time.

_But above all, he loved her. He genuinely loved her. If he had done something to upset her so much to the point of leaving, he would have travelled across Magvel and the oceans to apologize._

At last, he arrived at the room, where a crowd of people had already gathered. Guards, nurses, servants…

They quickly noticed Joshua and cleared an opening for him.

He made his way through the crown, wary eyes on him.

When he arrived just to the doorway, he let out a small gasp as he stared at the resting figure before him.

Her chest and arm was bandaged, soaked in a smidge of blood. Her head was rested to the side, strands of her lilac colored hair matted against her cheek and feathered out down her body.

Aside from the cuts and bruises, she still beautiful as ever, as if she had never aged. Her eyes were shut in a slumber and her expression laid still.

It was definitely her.

_Marisa. _

"Father!" Samara exclaimed. She stood up from the chair beside the bed and walked towards him.

"This is her! I found her just on the outskirts of Ora fighting a group of bandits! But there were too many of them…" She said quietly.

Joshua continued to stare at Marisa.

He couldn't believe it. She was alive and well before him.

"Please… Give her some room so she can rest," said a nurse.

"I can stay though, right?" Samara smiled.

"And I, too?" Joshua asked.

"Ah… Of course, your highnesses." The nurse bowed.

The room grew quiet after the nurses had cleared all the bystanders by the door. All that was left in the room was him, Samara and Marisa.

His family.

What a weird and eerily feeling it was.

"Father, as we brought her in, a lot of the guards and knights looked at her as if they recognized her. I heard one of them refer to her as the general... Do you know her, father?" Samara asked. Her big round eyes stared up at him as she waited for his answer.

_Should I tell her? Should I tell her the woman laying before her is her mother?_

He decided it would be best to wait to spring the sudden news on her, for this was so sudden on him. He wanted to know why, how, what made her make such a brash decision all those years ago.

Did she have any idea what she had put him through? He stared hard at Marisa as she slept. He felt frustration, anger, confusion... But at the same time, relief, joyful, jubilant.

He wanted to take her up in his arms, and hold her and never let her go.

"King Joshua, Sire." Said a voice.

He turned his attention away from Marisa and to Sir Leduk, who stood at the door.

He shifted his eyes to Marisa then to Joshua. "I know this may be an... emotional time for you. But there are some minsters from Rausten here to discuss with you some important issues."

"But I..." He looked back at Marisa.

He sighed in defeat. "Please have someone inform me once she wakes up." Joshua said.

"Will do," Sir Leduk bowed in agreement.

Before leaving the room, he shot one last look at Marisa.

_Wait for me... Please._

* * *

Marisa's eyelashes fluttered as she began to open her eyes.

_Where am I?_ She thought as she looked around the room.

She was in a white room, with white curtains hung, several cabinets lined up against the wall with bottles encased in it.

It all looked so familiar.

Her eyes then landed on a familiar figure that hovered over her.

She immediately sat up.

"Leduk." She blandly addressed.

His once shimmering blonde hair had faded into a deep ashy gray color. The frown he always wore around her seemed to have made a permanent mark on his face; his forehead aligned with deep crevasses of wrinkles, crow's feet baring its way around his deep heavy set eyes, and his lips frowned in an unappealing manner.

"Where's your respect?" He spat out bitterly. "Don't think after all these years you can address me so informally."

Marisa didn't say anything but continued to glare at the man.

She and he were never on good terms with each other. The day she had first met him, she felt such negativity from him. Every time they were alone, he would make such rude remarks towards her, but when there was another present, he would treat her with such fake kindness. She dismissed the rude remarks he would make occasionally, she felt it wasn't her place to talk back to someone of higher authority. Eventually, it was that unfaithful day that drove her out...

"I didn't think you'd ever come back." Leduk began after several seconds. "What business do you have here?" He demanded.

"A mercenary job," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Hm. Standard. I mean, for a commoner like you."

She gripped the blanket hard in her hold.

"The nurses aren't done treating your wounds, but once you're well, you are to immediately leave the castle."

"I intend to do that." She replied.

That, they can both agree on.

He gave her one more scornful look before he turned to the door.

As much as she wanted him out of her presence, she couldn't help but wonder of her daughter.

Was she well? How did she turn out? It had been… almost 12 years since she had seen her. And Marisa knew just as much what it was like to grow up without a mother. If her daughter had turned out _anything _like her… Well, she would only hope that Joshua was able to manage on his own.

"Wait." She blurted out. Her curiosity got the best of her. "How is… Samara?" she softly asked.

The thought of her _child_ made her heart swell up. The same couldn't be said about Joshua.

She didn't care for him, not after what she heard him say all those years ago. She suffered. She experienced emotions she never felt before: agony, betrayal, and what she could only describe, as heard from Tethys, heartache.

Yet, her feelings for him never faltered.

Strange, that was, but she chose to never acknowledge her feelings.

"She's well. Though, you're long forgotten in her memories. Oh, and Lord Joshua managed to marry a suitable woman after you left. Together, they raised your daughter well and happily." Leduk informed her with his head raised high and his arms folded.

"Oh," was all she could respond with. Though she was glad Samara had a mother to raise her, she wondered what kind of woman she was to have raised a child that's not her.

_She raised my child._

Of course, it was most likely a woman of class, someone who was beautiful and well-liked, who knew how to carry herself. A simple rogue woman like herself didn't deserve to be enamored by a King.

Not that she should care, her's and Joshua's relationship was conjured on a lie.

_"Why do you think you haven't seen him such a long time?"_

_"He's King. He's busy."_

_"Haha!" Leduk guffawed. "He came to me and admitted he isn't all that busy. He only claims so to avoid you."_

_"… You're lying."_

_"Are you truly that stupid? He doesn't love you. You were simply a tool to get him past his hard days. And now that you've born him an heir, he feels there's no need of you."_

_"We're to be wedded soon..." Marisa said giving him a cold stare. _

_"Exactly. He avoids marrying you."_

_Marisa shook her head. "No. You're lying. I'll hear it from him to believe that. Let me speak to him." She demanded as she pushed by him._

_"No. He doesn't wish to be spoken to." Leduk grabbed hold of Marisa's arm. His grip was tight; she felt her arm start to bruise the more she struggled._

_Then, she had enough. She raised her free arm up, balling it into a tight fist and landed a hard punch across Leduk's smug face. _

_"You... Dare raise your fist to me?" He bellowed as he held both hands to his bruised cheek. "Guards!" He shouted, his voice echoing down the vast hallways. _

_"You're going to have me imprisoned?" She asked skeptically, "you don't control them."_

_"Someone with great advisable power like myself overcomes a run-down general like you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't care for you. You two aren't even wedded yet. You're just... A mistress of his that he shares a child with. A whore. A simple, common whore."_

Those were the last words he told her before she was taken away.

Two days and two nights she spent in the cell. Treated like a prisoner, mainly from Leduk.

Within the first hour being held in the cell, she believed Joshua would come to rescue her from such a blatantly accusation.

He didn't come.

Second hour, maybe he wasn't notified of her imprisonment.

He still didn't come.

She waited and waited, huddled in the corner, her knees up to her chest and her head buried in her arms.

Left alone with only her thoughts, she came to believe that Leduk's words were true.

After her release she was given a mission as if nothing had happened. Not to cause a scene, she accepted it.

As her and her group of men prepared themselves at the front corridors. She waited for Joshua to give her his usual goodbyes and good luck remarks, followed by a kiss.

But he didn't come.

It was true then. It was before the birth of their child did they have the most fun with each other. After the birth of their child Joshua began to distance himself from her.

It was all just fun and games for him until she gave him what he wanted.

How foolish of her to think they were truly in love. How foolish of her to be led on by him and his charm.

How foolish of her to born a child out of his greed instead of love.

How foolish of her to accept his proposal.

A simple commoner like her with a King?

Foolish.

She knew what she had to do. Before embarking on the mission, she spent one last time with her daughter.

_"Samara."_

_The baby babbled as she played with Marisa's strands of hair._

_"Mommy… is going away. I don't know how long or where I'm going to go."_

_Holding Samara on her lap, she grazed her face against Samara's head, her fine thinned hair was soft against her skin. _

_"I love you. I always will, remember that." Marisa chuckled to herself. How on earth would she remember that, a 5 month old baby? _

_"Hopefully your father will take good care of you… He'll shower you with love and affection… And not treat you like a play-thing." She muttered rashly._

_"Hm?" Samara turned her head around to face Marisa. Her big round eyes staring at her, and a small smile spread across her chubby face. _

_"Wherever I am, near or far, I'll be there to protect you. Mommy loves you so much." She held her close as tears began to flood her eyes. _

_"Mama."_

_Marisa let out a small gasp. _

_Her first word. _

_She gave a small peck on the baby's forehead before handing her over to the nurse._

_She watched as Samara wailed as she was carried off the nurse._

_"Oh don't worry, your mother will come back safely." Marisa heard the nurse say. _

_"I'm sorry." She whispered to herself._

_She pushed aside her mixed thoughts and feelings and embarked on the journey. _

_A group of Cyclops? They weren't too much trouble for her and her group of men. _

_What concerned her was going back to the castle. She didn't want to go back. She didn't want to go back to someone who didn't love her, who thought of her as a simple 'tool'. _

_"Here. I'm not going back." She said simply as she took off her engagement ring and handed it to Garth, her right hand man._

_"General?" He asked concernedly. _

_"I'm removing myself from the services of Jehanna." She turned and started walking. Where? She didn't know. But one thing she did know, she didn't ever want to come back. _

_"General!" Garth called out. _

_She unsheathed her sword and pointed it Garth as he approached her. "I don't want anyone looking for me. If any of you follow me, I will cut you down in your spot."_

_He stared at her. "I... Don't know what reason you have for this sudden action, it may not be any of my affair... But the best of luck to you, General." He saluted to her. _

_"My reason?" She sheathed her sword. "I don't love him."_

_It was a lie, she knew, but she continued to journey off in the immense desert. _

_She would be out of sight and out of mind, as they say. _

"The news of you being here made him scrunch his face up in disgust. He ordered you out of here once you are healed."

Marisa didn't reply but stared out the window.

The sound of Leduk's retreating footstep and the door opening and closing were heard.

She let out a solemn sigh.

_I'm not supposed to be here. _She thought.

She heard the door opening followed by a set of approaching footsteps.

"What do you want?" She asked bleakly, certain it was Leduk.

"Uh..." A small female voice rang out.

She turned her head to face the stranger.

It was a young girl, with bright long crimson hair that trailed down her back. Her bangs were long and off to the side, nearly covering her right eye. What a shame though, considering how bright and shimmering her eyes were. She wore a simple black dress, down to her knees, and a yellow cape hung over her shoulder, covering her small, slim frame.

_She resembles Joshua an awful lot. _Marisa thought as she stared at the young woman. _Could it be..?_

"Hi..." The girl greeted meekly. "I'm the one who saved you. My name's Samara." She said as she gave out a small smile.

"Sa-"

Just as she thought, it was her daughter. Her daughter stood before her. Her daughter was well, and that was all that was needed to bring joy of tears to her eyes.

_"What should we name her?" Joshua asked as he stroked the baby's bald head. The baby cooed affectionately at her father's touch._

_Marisa thought for a second. "Samara."_

_"Samara?" Joshua repeated. _

_Marisa nodded. "It means protected by God. When neither of us is around, I want her to be protected." She stared down at the baby as she cradled her. _

_"I like that name. But let's hope we stay together for a long time, okay?"_

_"I wouldn't have it any other way."_

Hope. A silly word, it was.

"Wha- Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Samara asked with concern as she ran up to the bed side.

"No, no..." Marisa shook her head as she held a hand up to wipe some of her streaming tears.

"Here." Samara handed her a handkerchief.

"Thank you." Marisa took the cloth and wiped her eyes with it.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Samara asked with her head cocked slightly to the side.

"Yes. Yes I am." Marisa said as she nodded her head.

"If this is a bad time… I could leave."

"No! Stay. Please."

"Oh… Alright." Samara pulled the chair up and sat down.

Silence fell upon them. It seemed apparent that Joshua or anyone else had informed her that she was her mother. She didn't seem to know who she was. And perhaps it was better that way, considering she had a new mother.

"You said you saved me?" Marisa asked to clear the silence.

Samara blushed as she looked down at her lap. "Heh." She chuckled nervously. "I saw you were up outnumbered by that group of bandits, so I signaled General Garth and the others to save you, not I."

General Garth. So he is well, she saw.

"Thank you for that… Once I'm healed, I'll leave and be out of your burden."

"What? No!" Samara exclaimed.

Marisa raised an eyebrow at her.

"I mean…" Her cheeks flushed bright pink once more. "I was actually looking for you. I saw you take down that pair of thugs in town a few days ago. I … Really admire your skills. And I was wondering… If you could… stay here to be our fencing trainer?"

Marisa stared at Samara with her lips parted.

"Fencing trainer? Does your… parents approve of this?" She asked quietly.

"My parents? Oh, if you're referring to the King of Jehanna," she said in a playful mocking manner, "he's pretty laid back about everything. He's actually in need of a fencing trainer."

Marisa stared skeptically at her. "But-"

"Princess Samara! What are you doing here?" Behind them at the door, stood Leduk, an expression of fear on his face and beside him a nurse.

"Oh, Sir Leduk, I was just-"

"Please, escort her out." He gestured to the nurse.

The nurse, confused, did so. "Come now, my lady." The nurse soothingly said.

Leduk slammed the door after they had left.

He rushed over to Marisa and took her up roughly by the arm.

"Wench!" He roared as he dragged her out of bed.

Marisa winced in pain. She couldn't fight back; her body was already tired and in pain as it was.

He slammed her against the wall.

"Are you trying to win back the affection of your darling daughter? Bewitching her in some kind of way?" He snarled as he held her by the throat.

"Ahh…." She gagged as she scratched her way at Leduk's hands.

"I've been easy on you. I gave you the chance to get away, but now I've had enough. I should have done this a long time ago." He yanked on her long hair as he dragged her out into the hallway. She had no choice but to follow, her feet clumsily following behind him.

The servants, guards, nurses and Samara that lingered in the hallway stared bafflement at the scene.

"What are you looking at?" He roared. "Resume your duties! You!" He pointed at one guard. "Give me your sword."

Hesitantly, the guard complied and handed his sword to him.

He pulled her head back by her hair and placed the sword on the bare of her neck

"Goodbye, you common whore." He hissed into her ear.

She felt the pressure of the blade cut into her skin, a stinging and painful sensation it was.

"Sir Leduk, I advise you to stop what you are doing," said a strong, smooth voice.

Behind the mess of hair that laid in front of Marisa's eyes, she saw that familiar figure.

He stood with a sword out, pointed at them. His long crimson red hair flowed down his body and his black robe.

And what do you know; he still wore his hat, even after 14 years.

"Joshua." She gasped.

* * *

**A/N: **Ah, my first attempt at writing something angsty. As sad as it is, I can definitely see why a lot of people would be against Joshua/Marisa; him being a King, and Marisa being a "simple common person".

Hm, there are some rather lovey sap moments in here, aren't here? Sorry, I really couldn't write anything that denounces this pairing!

And yes, the ending was intended to be a cliffhanger. I was debating whether or not I should post the entire thing up, but I like to keep people in suspense. Mwhaha.

Anyway, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! Review if you have any comments or anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. **

* * *

"Unhand her." Joshua demanded calmly as he stepped forward, his sword pointed at them.

Leduk, with Marisa captive in his arm took a step back in response. She let out a small gasp as he tugged on her hair. Her scalp was burning in sensation of being thrashed and pulled. "My lord! What are you doing here? You should be at that meeting with the ministers from Rausten. They-"

"Hold your tongue." Joshua demanded. "I couldn't focus…Knowing she's here and alive." He said as he looked at Marisa.

"Ah!" Leduk let out a frustrated groan. "This is EXACTLY why I had her leave. With her around, you couldn't perform the duties a proper King would do. You procrastinated on handing in documents on time, you skipped meetings and speeches, all for what? For this… This filthy lowly woman! You couldn't focus on anything but her!"

"Enough!" Joshua shouted, glaring at Leduk. "I won't have you speak that way about her. And what do you mean, you had her leave?"

"But my lord!" Leduk said pleadingly, ignoring his question. "After she left, you flourished well into a proper King. Don't you see? You were better off without her."

"Was I? Was I really, Leduk? Would you count several months in depression as 'better off'? Would you count years mourning over her as 'better off'?"

"It was for your own good! It was either the whole country of Jehanna, or her! This simple common woman! Would you have wanted your reputation tainted with this abomination? I couldn't stand idly by while you throw you future away to be with this woman!" Leduk bellowed, his voice booming in Marisa ear.

Silence cascaded upon them, except for the heavy panting of Leduk from his fit.

Marisa gazed around the hallway, at the bystanders. Their expression held in bafflement and confusion. Samara stood by the nurse who escorted her out the room, huddled closely by her side, and an expression of fear read across her face.

"Do you really think I'm that incapable of balancing both my personal and business life?" Joshua spoke up softly. "Sure, I may have slacked off at the beginning, but blame me, not her. I was... madly in love with her." She watched as he turned his gaze at her, a gentle and small smile on his face. "I don't care at all about her status. I never even once considered it. To me, I saw her as this woman. This beautiful, talented and amazing woman. If anything, I felt like I didn't deserve her." He slightly lowered his sword at them, his full attention on her.

"I desired waking up every morning, knowing that she would be there waiting for me. Every time I saw her face, I ached to kiss it. Every time I saw a solemn expression on her face, I would do everything in my power to see her smile and laugh again. I longed to be by her side every day and simply hold her."

He stared at her, his eyes not blinking.

Then, he blinked. "I loved you, Marisa. I still do and I never stopped loving you once."

Marisa inhaled a sharp intake of air. Suddenly, the pain she felt on her scalp, her neck, and her back disappeared and was replaced with a euphoric feeling.

Her heart was beating rapidly, her face was warming up, and her eyes began to well up in tears.

She felt the same as some time ago, those happy moments where she didn't have a care in the world. The time when he first announce his feelings for her.

_"Hey Marisa." Joshua nudged her in the side with his elbow. _

_"Hm? What?" She took her eyes off from the star filled sky and turned her head to the side to face him. _

_A serene look was plastered on his face as he stared up at the night sky, his head rested on an arm while the other was busy flipping a coin into the air. _

_"Do you ever wonder what love is?"_

_"Huh? What do you mean?"_

_"Like, what truly IS love?"_

_She turned her head to face the sky again. "A feeling I guess. Something shared between two people, I don't know." She said, shrugging. _

_"Does it have to be experienced by both person?"_

_"Why are you asking me? I don't know." She said with annoyance. _

_"Well, what do you think?"_

_She let out a long, irritated sigh. "Sure. If one person is secretly in love with another, that person will have no way of knowing how they feel about them and never return their feelings." She paused. "Are you going to stop asking questions now?"_

_"Just one more."_

_She rolled her eyes. "What is it?"_

_"What if I said I was in love with you?" _

_She froze. _

_Did he really just say that?_

_She could see from the corner of eyes, him staring at her. _

_"D-don't joke like that…" She said nervously. _

_"I'm not joking." His tone was serious. "So? What would you do? Would it be qualified as love if it was only I who loved you?"_

_"Ah…" She shifted her eyes across the sky, as if to look for an answer. Her heart was beating so fast, she was sure it would explode from her chest. Her face was starting to feel warm, although the night sky around her was cool. _

_There was one thing to do. _

_She got up from where she laid. "I'm… going to head in," she said as she quickly scurried away. _

_"Wait. Let's have a bet," he called after her. _

_"Can you not…?" She muttered to herself before turning to face him. _

_"Knowing how I feel about you now, I bet that you'll return my feeling," he said as he shot out his trademark grin. _

_When did it get so hot? She wondered._

_"…And what if I don't?" She retorted._

_Joshua shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets_

_"Name your price. But it won't change how I feel about you."_

_She blinked several times at him. "G-Goodnight, Joshua." She pushed her way through the door and headed down to her room. _

_Aside from sparring, she was the one who always won the bets he made with her. _

_All but this one. _

_Even before he had made the bet, she lost. _

All along she knew he loved her. All along she knew it was the truth. Hidden and distorted by simple lies.

"Joshua," she gasped out, a smile spreading across her face. "I love yo-"

"NO! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" Roared Leduk. He twisted her head to the side by harshly pulling her hair. The burning sensation returned.

She shut her eyes tightly as waited for her unfortunate fate.

The sound of bones and flesh slicing was heard, then a groan.

_Is it... Over?_

She didn't feel anything. The hand that gripped her hair and her head slackened and the blade that was placed on the flesh of her skin clamored to the ground with a clang. She opened her eyes.

A sword had plunged itself into Leduk and out his chest.

His eyes were red and puffed out of his sockets, his mouth hung open as he let out his final breaths.

Marisa moved to the side to avoid the body falling on her.

The body fell, revealing Leduk's killer behind him.

Garth took out a cloth and wiped the blood off his blade. "It's good to have you back, General." He greeted, a small smile parted on his face.

"Garth… " Marisa addressed, though stunned at his action.

"Leduk was a mad man." Garth said as his eyes fell on to the corpse. Marisa followed his gaze.

Leduk's face was twisted in the same expression; eyes bulged out, mouth hung open as if he was going to scream.

"My regret is not informing your majesty sooner… And… that I followed along with his plans." Garth said shamefully.

"What do you mean?" Joshua inquired.

"He was blackmailing me all these years… It was I who lied to you about discovering General Marisa's body, and it was I who concealed the fact that she was imprisoned that one time."

Joshua raised an eyebrow. "Imprisoned? When was she ever imprisoned?"

_So he didn't know. _It wasn't the time to feel so relax, but she felt relief.

"I'm sorry to hear all this, but Garth, I have no choice but to hold you in for questioning." Joshua continued.

Garth bowed his head. "I accept all consequences." He humbly complied.

Joshua signaled a couple of the guards hanging in the hallway to take Garth away, and the reminder of them to clean up the bloody mess.

"Please, treat all of her wounds. Make sure she's alright." Joshua ordered.

Marisa was ushered into the infirmary once again by the three nurses.

She was hesitant to comply with them. She didn't care about the fact that her previous wounds had re-opened due to Leduk's rough handling. She didn't care about the sore bruises on her back from being thrown on the wall. All she wanted to do was be with Joshua.

* * *

"How does that feel?" Asked one of the nurses.

"Great." Replied Marisa as she rubbed her hand up and down her arm where Leduk had grabbed her.

The two other nurses in the back whispered something to each other then tapped the one treating Marisa on the shoulder.

She turned to look behind. Marisa tried to follow her gaze, but her sight was blocked by the two nurses in the back.

"If you need anything, please, don't be hesitant to call for me," she said nicely as she gave a smile.

The three turned to leave at the door. Behind the two nurses stood Joshua.

"Your majesty." The nurses all bowed as they headed out the room.

The two were left to stare at each other in blissful silence.

After the door shut behind the nurses, they continued to gaze at each other, to take in each other's aged appearance. There was something with age that made a person look so much mature, poised, wise and oh so beautiful. But at the same time, it made them miss the past, and the lost years that could have been spent together. Gazing at each other's older appearance made them realize they had missed the process of aging together.

It shouldn't matter though, now that they were reunited. They both knew just as well as the other that they will always have their memories of them together.

A smile crept on her face. "Joshua, I-"

Before she could finish her sentence, he took two long strides, sat himself on the bed and took Marisa in gently in arms, careful of her wounds yet held her in a tight embrace. His head rested on her shoulder, her head on his shoulder, and his hand gently stroking her on the back of her head.

"I've missed you _so_ much," He said.

She closed her eyes and buried her face against his neck, his hair softly caressing against her face. She took her arms up and wrapped them around his waist.

"I've missed you too," she said, her voice muffled into his neck.

For several minutes, they remained like that, holding each other tightly in each other's arms.

As much she wanted to stay like that, she felt it was important to discuss the matter of the past.

"I'm so sorry… Leduk said you didn't love me, that you didn't care about me. I haven't seen you for so long after Samara was born. And then you didn't come for me when I was held in the cell... That's when I started to believe him."

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Joshua quickly replied. "He gave me so many things to do… I was rushing to get it all done so I could spend time with you. I guess… I got so lost in my work. If I had known you were imprisoned, I would have immediately came and got you out." He ran his hand up and down her back.

"I always asked him how you were, and he said you were fine. If I had known what he was doing, I would have stopped him. Marisa, why didn't you tell me he was tormenting you like that?"

"It started off not so bad. And… I didn't feel it was my place to tell him off."

"Marisa." He pulled his hands to her face and held her. "Don't ever think that way. Don't ever think whether or not you have the right to stand up for what you believe in. Blast the social status system; I don't give a rat's ass about that," He said sternly.

She nodded her head in his hands. "I'll remember that."

Joshua let out a relived sigh. His hot breath smelt sweet as it blew onto her face.

"I'm just so glad you're alive. And that you not loving me was a lie."

She took her hands up to his face and placed them around his jawline. "I love you, Joshua. I've always loved you. I loved you even before you made that bet with me."

"Really?" He asked, a shimmering glint in his eyes.

She nodded her head.

"It seemed everyone was manipulated by Leduk. Caught in his lies…" He said.

"It's kind of stupid, isn't it? How a couple of lies could easily distort a relationship?"

"We're back together, aren't we? After you left, I never gave up hope that you'll return. But when they said you were dead… I almost considered taking my own life."

It was Marisa's turn to give him a lecture. "I don't want you to ever think that way, Joshua. One day, one of us is going to die, possibly sooner than the other. Aside from me, there are other people who consider you important in their lives. Like… our daughter."

He nodded his head. "I know. She was the reason why I didn't go through. I knew you wouldn't want that. I knew you wouldn't want our daughter left alone in this world."

Marisa averted her gaze downward. "I regret leaving her, and you too. I didn't want her to be left mother-less. I was... actually looking forward to being a mother."

Joshua began to stoke her cheek his thumb.

"It's not too late," He said reassuringly. "She seems fond of you, even before knowing you were her mother."

He started to chuckle. "It's all such a coincident that she should find you... When she told me about you, it was as if she was in love."

"I guess... that's just the bond between a mother and a daughter," She smiled to herself.

"Marisa... Where were you? How did you survive all this time?" Joshua asked.

"I traveled up to Caer Pelyn and stayed with Saleh and Ewan. I lived as a mercenary and was giving a job out here. I... didn't want to go. I thought you still... didn't love me."

"Leave it all to Lady Luck to have you come back and Samara find you, eh?" He said smirking.

Marisa couldn't help but to roll her eyes.

He was still the same old gambler.

But it was true, to have her brought back and reunited once again with her family... It must have been the work of some sort of miracle. "I'll have to make up for lost time." Her smile faded into a thin line across her lips. "So... that means... you haven't married anyone else?"

"Married? Where on earth would you get that idea?"

"Leduk..." She replied hesitantly.

"I thought we were just passed that man's lies. Of course I haven't married anyone else. I didn't want anyone else but you." He pulled out something from his shirt.

A chained necklace, with a golden ring attached to it.

"You kept it..." Marisa said.

"Of course I did." He took the ring off, held her hand up and placed the ring on her ring finger.

It was a surprise to know the ring still fitted her after all these years.

He placed his forehead onto hers, his warmth illuminating on to her skin.

"I think I found a new meaning to love," He said.

"What?"

"It's not just a feeling, it's a bond. An unbreakable bond. It's like a war; easy to begin, hard to end."

She stared at him in confusion. "A war- What?"

He stared into her eyes, his red eyes blazing in its crimson color. "Okay, aside from the bad analogy, just remember this: I love you and I always will." He leaned in to place his lips on her lips.

Tenderly, gently, smoothly and softly.

It felt like a touch lost in ages.

"So… You really are my mother, then?" a voice appeared.

The two broke their lips apart and turned to face Samara, who stood with a curious look on her face.

Joshua smiled as he nodded. "Yes, this is your mother."

Her curious look turned into a bright smile. "I should have thought so! You showed such amazing swordplay, it was exactly how I pictured my mother would be from father's stories!"

Marisa arched an eyebrow up at Joshua. "Stories?"

She dismissed the comment and held her arms out to Samara. "Come. Let me hold you."

"H-Hold me?" She repeated nervously as she looked at the ground, twiddling her fingers, and her face flushed. "I don't know if I'm worthy enough to be held by an extraordinary woman like you."

Marisa stunningly stared at her. "So modest," she muttered to herself.

"No need to be so embarrassed, Samara. I thought you wanted to be with your 'crush'," Joshua chuckled.

"Father!" Samara pouted.

Marisa had to stifle a chuckle in. "Please. Don't think of me as… An idol, but your mother." She said as she continued to hold her arms out.

"Oh… Okay…" Samara said hesitantly as she walked towards Marisa. She placed herself in her arms, and Marisa wrapped her arms around her.

Marisa began to stroke her daughter's head, brushing her fingers through her silky soft hair like she did when she was a baby.

"Hm… This is… Nice," Samara stated.

"You look just like your father," Marisa commented.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me!" She whined.

Joshua frowned. "I don't understand why you have to say it like that."

"Isn't it obvious? She wants to look more like me," Marisa said, smiling.

"Of course I do! No offense father, but, uh, mother is far more beautiful."

"Ah… That, I cannot argue against." He inched himself close to them, wrapping his arms around both women as he placed his head on top of Marisa's.

"Well what do you know, we're a family again. I hope- No, I want it to stay like this forever."

Marisa closed her eyes, a serene look on her face. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"This is the best birthday ever!" Samara exclaimed.

* * *

_A hope and a belief. _

_It's not all bad, for the expected may just happen. _

_Thinking positively and remaining patient is just what is needed to grasp on to that firm hope._

_Put in context with love?_

_In the words of Albert Ellis: _

_"The art of love is largely the art of persistence."_

* * *

_**"Marisa?"**_

_**"Hm?"**_

_**"You know I love you right?"**_

_**"Of course I do."**_

_**"Do you love me?"**_

_**She closed her eyes. She didn't need to think to know the answer. The answer was eager to edge off her tongue, but she remained silent to build the suspense. She enjoyed teasing him.**_

_**She opened her eyes, staring at the slightly horrified Joshua.**_

_**"Simply put, I love you." **_

* * *

**A/N: **Ahhh, and there we have it.

I was really debating whether or not to give this story a happy or sad ending but... I couldn't bring myself to leave it sad. It's Joshua and Marisa! I mean, c'mon... They're my favorite pairing, I couldn't do that to them! *totally biased, AHEM*

Once again, thanks for reading, I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.


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